Attack of Tree Pruner Part XXXII - "I Have Made of Huge Mistake"

Tree Pruning is one of the lesser known art forms. The Japanese excel at the Bonsai, (learned from Chinese penzai), while here in the U.S. it relates more to the pruning of Fruit Trees and vines to maximize fruit bearing potential. I don't own any fruit trees yet, but any tree can benefit from pruning. The hand driven pruning saw(s) I own are quite efficient, and I have downed limbs in excess of 7 inches in diameter in quick order. They have razor teeth that are shaped like a sharks tooth. They are sharp on 3 sides and only cut on the pull. It's with the larger of these saws that our story begins...

The weather was amazing on Sunday, and everyone was relaxing in the beautiful backyard. As I surveyed the garden, my eyes reminded me that a large branch from one of our silver maples was continuing its pattern of growing out over the garden. By the end of June, it would be shading far to much real veggie real estate. One simple cut would give our garden another hour or two of needed sunlight.

So I grabbed the extension ladder and my saw and got to work. First I made a cut on the bottom of the branch about a 1/2 inch deep where I wanted it to snap. The position of this cut was important, or I could take out our power lines. Then I got to work sawing through the beam on the top. As I cut, the weight of the branch pulled it downward, opening up the slice I was making. I began to hear popping and my audience sitting across the yard began to ooh and ah...

I was only a little over halfway through the beam, but with a little shove, I could see it starting to fall. I yelled a final all clear, and jumped off the ladder and grabbed onto the main trunk next to me as the branch began to fall. It's always good to stay clear. The branch dropped beautifully almost exactly where I wanted it! Awesome!!

Now came the not so fun part of cutting this beast up. And that's where the story turned not so fun as well. I had cut all the main limbs off the 8 inch beam except for one, and for some reason it was giving me a hard time. My saw kept binding, and I realized it was because my right arm was a bit tired. Being semi-ambidextrous, I without a thought switched to my left hand. That arm is stronger anyway, (I throw left, write right) but it lacks some dexterity. Well, I went back to cutting, but the groove I had made was for a right handed cut, so before long the saw jumped out of that groove and landed with a load of fury right on top of my hand...

Hmm.. This wasn't exactly what I had planned. I have just made a huge mistake.

I pulled the saw off my hand and started walking away from the scene of the crime, and from everyone else so I could ascertain how bad the damage was. I was amazed at first how slight the blood loss was, but I was not happy with being able to see my knuckle bone and tendons move around as I flexed the wound. I calmly asked Rachel to come over as I took off my shirt and wrapped it up so she and the kids couldn't see. I told her not to worry, but that I was going to need to go get some stitches. Meanwhile a pit was starting to form in my stomach, and I realized I needed to think about something else. Rachel went inside so I started helping the kids pile up the branches I had cut earlier. Nothing like work to take your mind off the pain.

Rachel returned with gauze, and some water and phone in hand. She insisted someone drive me to the ER, and I knew that would ease her mind so within minutes my good friend Jeremy was on his way. As I walked out the door I had my water bottle in hand. Jeremy told me in the car, he thought my fingers were in the bottle!! I laughed and showed him the wound, and that all my fingers were luckily in tact.

After my three hour tour, (insert Gilligans Island jingle) I was all stitched up. After I got home, I found my gloves (ding ding ding) and gingerly cut up the rest of the tree before retiring for the evening. It's still sore today, but it's slowly healing. The young doc noted to me that because of the saw's gnarly cutting action it will leave a scar. I told him that I guess that means my days of hand modeling are over...

Until Next Time...

Deer Camp 2008: Pass the Venison

It took about two and a half days to shake off the perpetual chill, and another two days to finally finish cutting up all that venison, but it was a great hunt. The monster buck didn't show himself, but I was able to take a good sized doe on Tuesday morning. My uncle stated that is was a heck-of-a shot, at about 90+ yards through trees and brush on a moving target, so I was even more pleased with his opinion of my riflemanship. That just reassures me when the 200+ point Boone and Crockett buck comes into focus, he'll be mine.

It was around 9:30 in the morning and about 19 degrees with no breeze. I turned my head to the south and noticed some movement in some very thick brush. Two deer were on the move headed due west. They were still over 100 yards off, but I could tell they were a bit spooked. The one in the lead was very precise in its movements and the other one stayed right on its tail. I had to reposition myself slowly in my stand as I was facing east. It was a bit awkward, turned sideways in my stand, but I could pull this off, if they slowed down. Wait a second. It was a doe and a fawn, and this fawn was tiny. I held up and just decided to watch them. The doe stopped and kept looking south across the pasture that she was skirting. I don't think a buck was following, she must have been spooked by a hunter. It looked like they were headed for cover. I watched them dip into the valley to the west and disappear. Oh well....

As I began to question my decision of mercy, I realized it had just paid off. I saw more movement coming from the same direction. Two more does where following the doe and fawn's path. Both of these were good size, but the one in the lead was bigger. I pulled her into view on the scope and waited for her to step in the clearing in front of the pasture. She did and immediately turned her tail in my direction! Good Night! I wasn't about to shoot her in the rear, because that's what all my meat would end up tasting like.. yuck.. She stood there for a moment and then started west again, back into the timber, but now it was getting dicey. I looked ahead of her for any kind of shooting lane and saw none. I was going to have to pick her out of the timber on the move if I could find an opening, so I held my breath and watched the trees in front of her with one eye and with the other eye kept her in my scope. I was going to have a chance in about 3 seconds as there was about a 2 foot space between two smaller oak trees. Time to make a decision, I switched off the safety, held my breath and bore down on her side, and as she stepped in between the trees I fired.

She jumped about 5 feet straight up and I was sure I had missed, but then took a few steps and leaned against a tree, fell down and it was over. Wow, I can't believe I made that shot! I wish I could have seen the grin on my face at that exact moment. There are few things in life that are more thrilling than that. Now I needed to unload my rifle, climb down out of my stand and get to work.

Needless to say it was a clean shot and this years doe is all butchered up and in the freezer as of last night, except for a handful of steaks that were devoured by my family on Friday night. Fresh deer steak bests a Kobe House Filet Mignon any day of the week. Planning for next year begins soon, and I'll tell as many people as are willing to listen about my story from this year at Deer Camp.


Until Next Time...

Deer Camp 2008: For the Love of Camo

Long before Target started carrying camouflage cargo shorts, or some German fashion designer threw blue and pink camo prints out on the catwalk, camo was cool. It is as cool now as it was back in 3rd grade playing GI Joe out in the tall clover field...

Camouflage is more than just a strange fashion statement for me. It's about being one with nature. It's about wanting to enter the harsh wilderness and get a glimpse of it's wonder, and then gracefully exit, leaving no trace behind. The thrill of the hunt isn't a thirst for blood, it's the desire to witness and participate in the amazing element of survival. In reality for deer season camouflage plays an interesting role. The fact is, deer are dichromatic, (they can't see a full range of colors) and that's why wearing the required blaze orange hat and vest in Missouri isn't that big of a deal. So why wear camouflage at all if the deer can't see colors? Well many a hunter would agree it's unnecessary, but for me it's like going to the football game without wearing your game face. Who want's to be the Chiefs fan wearing his blue ski jacket and matching stocking cap, just because they are warm? That screams foul!!!

Camouflage is an integral part of this hunters ego, as he steps into the fringe of trees and tries to silently make his way to his stand in the inky darkness that precludes the dawn. As the frosty mist begins to fade and the shadows reveal themselves, he slowly scans the tree line for movement. He knows full well he cannot be seen. He is invisible (at the very least in his mind) and the joy that brings can only be understood by fellow hunters who will forever be boys at heart. The joy of the hunt would just not be the same without camouflage. So the next time you see some traditional GI Issue Woodland Camo, or maybe a flash of Mossy Oak Realtree, or even some of that uber cool new digital camo, remember what camo is really about good people. It's a state of mind...

Until Next Time...

Deer Camp 2008: PreGame Rituals

Opening Day for Deer Rifle Season is a mere 5 days away, so it's due time to take this week to review the age old rituals of the Pre Hunt. The nuances surrounding the Pre Hunt Rituals revolve around purging one's "civility" in order to embrace the primal wilderness BEFORE we enter it. The goal of the hunter it to not be heard, seen, or smelt by his prey. Giving one's position away, is a tried and true method to end up getting skunked. To naively enter the forest smelling like your lavatory is indeed folly. I re-learned this lesson last year.

It began predawn as I sat in my stand on a crisp morning. For the past 30 minutes I had been listening to a deer in the valley to my west slowly make his way up the hill and into my line of sight. Finally he appeared. It was a medium sized 4 point buck. He was to small to shoot so this was an opportunity to just relax and watch the show. He was tracking a doe in estrus because his nose was to the ground, and he was paying little attention to his surroundings. My stand was a good 30 feet of the ground and wrapped in canvas so I was invisible and very quiet, but there was a mild wind out of the north. As soon as the buck was downwind of me, you would have thought he had been shot. He froze, and his head snapped instantly to look up at my stand! He knew I was there and we entered into a stare down. Deer are color blind so even with my orange hat and vest, my silhouette was broken up by the canvas and the tree behind me. He couldn't see or hear me, but he was drinking in my scent and you could sense his fear escalate as his raised foreleg trembled. Finally I grew tired of the game and tipped my hat to him. With a flash of white tail he was gone...

Stalking a deer is rarely a viable option unless you are at least half Cherokee, or you can hover above the ground. Likewise you can't control or always predict the direction of the wind so it behooves the hunter to eliminate/mask his civilized scent as he sits along a known deer path and waits for his shot. So, starting the week before season opens the hunter simply has to stop bathing. This implies a level of sacrifice for family/co-workers but this is serious business. Shaving must also stop if it hasn't. Only dry shaving can be tolerated because even unscented shaving cream screams "man" in the forest. Couple these elements with a daily rub down with fresh cedar chips or worst case a handful from the hamster cage, (not the dog run, dogs are predators!!) and in 4-6 days you can eliminate most alerting odors. Now for your attire.

Throw a handful of dirt and two handfuls of pine cones into the washing machine with all your hunting clothes and that should eliminate the laundry detergent smells. Drip dry outside or if you're in a pinch, chuck them in the dryer with a squirrel tail. The oils in the tail provide a great softening effect just like a dryer sheet, it also will neutralize any UV brighteners that your clothes might still have from previous laundering. And since you will be sitting up in a tree, smelling like a squirrel is fitting enough. Besides everything else you are about to do makes this pale in comparison. For the Pre Hunt Rituals have just begun and by the end, everyone will consider you squirrel bait anyway. To bad it's not squirrels we are after...

Until next time..